I got to admit it's getting better, getting better all the time

Tonight was a landmark, if you will. I had my first real paid professional gig (as in, not school-related, or a favor for anyone.) I was offered a gig performing in a reading here in Boston because they loved my stuff on youtube.. It's a reel, really, my stuff on youtube that is, so it's not such a stretch - but it does sort of rule that I got a job through youtube. (The listing for the gig was on craigslist, which makes it even more crazy.) Who needs auditions anyway?!
The reading was tonight, and it went pretty well. I wasn't 100% happy with my performance - but when am I ever really? In the end, I was under a lot of pressure (from myself), the rehearsal period was extremely short, and yet the show seemed to go well. Now its in the hands of the backers and producers to pick it up or not. I'm not really sure what role, if any, I could possibly have with this show should it continue on to the NYMTF, or onto a venue in Boston, but it'll be interesting to see what happens with it. I definitely think there's lots of potential in it, and with the right adjustments it could do really well.
Despite the adrenaline and nerves involved in such a landmark, I couldn't help but feel a bit depressed when it was over. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but I think it was the fact that my week of rehearsals (and time off from the restaurant) was over, and now it was time to go back to the job I honestly despise. I wasn't depressed because I missed the show, I guess it was just enough of a taste of the career I know I can have. It's been a journey and a struggle, but I finally have the real, deep-rooted confidence to know that I can be the performer I have always wanted to be. In fact, I know that if I can get my butt to enough auditions, I can work consistently. It's all a matter of time really, and that time will come when I either find the secret to being an actor in Boston, or I move to New York. Either way, right now there doesn't seem to be a whole wealth of opportunities here. Even the companies that do hire actors don't really provide enough of a paycheck to live on without having some other sort of job to pay the bills.
I still remember that 'punch-in-the-gut' feeling I got when I saw the tour of the Producers in Providence.. it was the first time I had seen a professional show, and I literally felt sick to my stomach because I wanted so badly to be on that stage. It's been close to almost a decade since then, but I can happily look back, and even at my life now, and see how much farther I have come to accomplishing that goal. I am getting so close I can taste it, and it tastes good. It tastes real good.

oh, well hello

I can sort of taste a career beginning to form in my life [a career in performance that is], mostly because I finally graduated from college [600 years later..] but also because I just have that feeling pulling at my gut. As of tomorrow I will be going to a rehearsal for a reading of a new rock musical that is trying to get off the ground, by showcasing in front of New York and Boston producers and backers. Very glitzy and glamorous really.. Despite this huge rise to fame, I am still, as of yet, employed at a restaurant and not a paid performer by trade [well, first check comes on Monday] but that's not the point. I can feel New York pulling me in, sort of like the big polls they used to use on vaudeville.. except this is actually a good sort of pole pulling me. Yes, yes, New York is very expensive and I can't vault myself into stardom my first week there, but I certainly can't find a way to be a working actor here in Boston. There are a few important things keeping me here in my home state, but they can't hold me here for too long. Thanks to the wonders of the internet I can see what my fellow alums from OCU are up to, and it is all very much something I can be a part of once I get my self over there.
Until that happens, however, I am content in doing whatever gigs I can get here in beantown whilst I also work on marketing myself.. I have created a webpage [insert applause] which to me, seems the beginning of a professional career that can only gain in momentum. So what if the only hits my site has gotten are from my Mom and my housemates.. that's irrelevent. Eventually it will be flooded with teenager wanna-be's and their moms. Until then, www.andyfontaine.com is my own personal masterpiece. Once I have some professional credits worth bragging about, they will make their way onto the site and things can only go up from there.
Anyway, it's always fun to stumble upon my own blog and decide to add to it.