With the pain involved with a wisdom tooth poking its way further through my gums, I got to thinking about dentists, and why they're so scary. Plus, my boss is in the unpleasant process of oral surgery to correct a problem with a cap. But really now, why are dentists so scary? A lot of people are more scared of dentists than of doctors. Man, I would think a tooth cleaning would be a little less nerve-wracking than having a surgeon cut open your vital organs.. you know, the ones you need to survive.. I know for certain that there are toothless yokels out there who are doing quite fine. How many people do you know walking around without lungs or a large intestine? Anyway, I digress. The dentist. They're usually very nice, at least the ones I've been to. And as a kid, there were always fun Dr. Seuss books and those 3D bead maze things. You know what I'm talking about. As an adult you can read up on the latest celeb gossip, although I prefer reading a little Dr. Seuss myself. [One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish? How does he think of these things?! Complete genius..] Back to the magazines. Let's leave the poor people alone, eh? Imagine if People Magazine did spreads on locals like you and I.. that'd be boring. Who would want to see pictures of Mrs. Thomas coming out of the supermarket in flipflops and a moomoo? [Especially if they were taken from the bushes] or an article about how the guy in apartment 8B divorced his wife of 2 weeks to be with another woman.. [zzz] Well, if that appeals to you I think we should have a 1-on-1 chat about a little thing called gossip. It's bad. [Although down here in the south it's not so much a thing as it is a way of life..] That being said, me being a completely ordinary unfamous guy, if you were taking pictures of me coming out of the supermarket in flipflops and a moomoo from the bushes, be forewarned that I would not hesitate to throw a heavy object in your general direction.. whether I be famous or not. Speaking of heavy objects.. The gym.. My new years resolution this year was to get in better shape. I'm pretty sure that 99% of Americans make that resolution as well. Maybe I'll be in the tiny percentile who actually get off their butts and go to the gym to make it happen. [scoff!] I mean, I'm already one step ahead of most.. I don't have to send a check to a gym, I have a free one right on campus. [By free, I mean included in my overly-inflated tuition] Well, I haven't been yet.. but I keep telling myself that it's too cold to walk over there now.. I'll go when spring hits. So would I rather go to the dentist or the gym? The dentist is just one visit, where as the gym is a long term commitment for not so immediate results. One visit to the dentist equals sparkly teeth. One visit to the gym equals one sweat-soaked shirt and sore tiny biceps. Then again, there is no wait for the gym, but then again you can't get out of work for it either.. No free toothbrush when you go to the gym though... tough decision. I don't know what to choose! I suppose I'd have to go with the gym.. mainly because I don't have dental insurance at present and a free trip to the gym certainly matches my current budget.
So it's the gym. Now I have to go. Dangit. Should I be going to the dentist to check out my wisdom teeth though? I have both lower wisdom teeth in.. and they're oh so slowly growing in. [It's taken over a year for them to just barely break through the gums.] Who decided to call them gums anyway? And why gums with an 's'? When we talk about chewing gum, people would look at you like you're an idiot if you were to add an 's' to make gum plural. "Yeah, I just love chewing my Orbit Bubblemint[tm] Gums. Mmmm!" And yet if you say that your tooth is poking through your gum people would also look at you strangely. Or perhaps they would say "that's a great story.. you should tell that at parties." [with oodles of sarcasm of course.]

I'm not 100% sure, but I think it doesn't matter.